Cheating while married

abarnes

Hi LoLica

Gee wilkies, what a question…I’ve never married and at this point in my life, that ship left port ages ago…but I would like to think that if I had the chance to make those vows, my wife and I would both have the strength to stand by them. So, I’m speaking from a slightly different viewpoint.

I won’t go into details (we don’t know each other well enough) but I have both been cheated on and have cheated on relationships.

I have spent time reflecting on my life and my behaviour throughout, as we do – self-awareness is what separates us from the animals. I think the comments put up so far, are a little oversimplified… simply because we do not know what is going on through the minds of people at the time. But one thing is certain, cheating on someone becomes a source of pain for all concerned.

Turning to your comment…
Is it a trend in today’s society? No, I’d say cheating has been around since ‘Adam was boy’; maybe it’s become more talked about that it just seems like an increasing trend. It would be saddening if it were.
You ARE NOT a dinosaur, I don’t think anyone today is standing at the altar making their wedding vows with the acceptance that their partner will cheat on them. It’s well within the right of every person whether married or in a committed relationship to expect their partner to honour that love/commitment.
I don’t think anyone should accept cheating; when it happens, once you’re aware of it, it diminishes trust. Can they rebuild that trust? If we accept it, do we condone further cheating events?

When I still had hope of entering a new relationship, I had a ‘eureka’ moment; I thought in my next relationship, I’d tell her, ‘look, in the future, if/when you’re about to cheat on me, before you do, have the courtesy to call me and tell me we’re done’… lol, the intent being, not to give her permission, but rather a moment of pause to THINK and stop what she’s about to do… this concept has yet to be tested/proven. LOL

Anyway…that’s my two cents.
Thanks for the interesting topic. :)

cazter

If people want to cheat then they shouldn't get married in the first place.

jtmorri

I have never cheated in a relationship or when married and never had it happen to me. Like you, I am very loyal.
To cheat when married or in a relationship shows lack of respect and poor judgement. It reeks of someone always looking for something better and always wanting attention. To me they have low self-esteem and self-worth to have to gain attention to feel good about themselves. Unfortunately, it reflects the cultural shift of younger generations growing up in a throw away society and instantly being able to have something. A lack of commitment, working at something and seeing a job through to completion.

It isn't normal. It shouldn't be socially acceptable. The correct thing to do is to leave a current relationship, have time to yourself to think about what you really want and then if the time and situation is right connect with a new person. That way, there is no betrayal, the hurt is less and everyone can move forward easier.

lolica

I have never cheated in a relationship or when married and never had it happen to me. Like you, I am very loyal.
To cheat when married or in a relationship shows lack of respect and poor...

Exactly, I agree with you.

lolica

I am extremely loyal, loyal as a dog and will never under no circumstances ever cheat, my morals are extremely high, I respect myself enough to not even imagine doing it, I experienced betrayal and it hurts as hell , why is it so easy for some people to hurt person who was prepared to die for you ?